


we lost faith (in the arms of love)

by stepquietly



Category: Jennifer's Body (2009)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Cannibalism, Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Language, F/F, Femslash, Podfic Welcome, Unsafe Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-15
Updated: 2014-08-15
Packaged: 2018-02-13 08:06:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2143368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stepquietly/pseuds/stepquietly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The scientists suggest that they need to try having a ranger drift with the kaiju, and Needy finds out just in time to watch Jennifer die. </p><p>Then Jennifer comes back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we lost faith (in the arms of love)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [novembersmith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/novembersmith/gifts), [Cthonical (Nellie)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nellie/gifts).



> Big thanks to [](http://www.archiveofourown.org/users/missmollyetc/profile)[](http://www.archiveofourown.org/users/missmollyetc/)**missmollyetc** for an early alpha check of descriptions and grammar. This fic is super indebted to [](http://www.archiveofourown.org/users/novembersmith/profile)[](http://www.archiveofourown.org/users/novembersmith/)**novembersmith** who didn't just do an awesome rewatch with me and provide loads of helpful alpha-reading comments, but also beta read this despite being super busy. They were both awesome and I'm very grateful.
> 
> The title is from Ben Howard's The Wolves.

 

It’s nearly two full weeks before the Marshal lets her know that she can go see Jennifer. The whole thing is super weird because he’s been knocking on her door regularly with updates. Marshals don’t normally do shit like that but that’s something she can’t really think of right now. Needy really does not give a shit about all the extra attention because _Jennifer’s alive_.

“About fucking time, bitch,” Jennifer greets her when she finally makes her way into the huge room that serves as the ward. The place is all empty space and bare walls, the sort of large echoing area filled with empty beds that feels like it would be super creepy at night. Jennifer’s managed to net a bed with pink sheets near the only window in the place. She’s picking at the blanket they’ve got her covered with, nails covered with chipped red polish.

She eyes Needy from under heavy lashes, her mouth falling open in that artless way that girls on base spend half their lives trying to copy, somehow sexual on Jennifer while looking moronic on everyone else. Even with the tired paleness and the chapped, bloodless lips, Jennifer manages to make it look almost good, almost normal. Her eyes sweep over Needy before she pats the bed by her hip and offers, “wanna climb on up here and play doctor?”

Needy laughs, something satisfied and relieved in her finally coming loose and flooding her veins. “Okay.” She settles herself on the edge of the bed near Jennifer’s hip, smiling all the while because it’s like all this joy is just flooding out of her now.

“How’re you feeling?” She ventures once she’s settled.

Jennifer snorts. “Don’t be a dweeb, Needy. It’s obvious I feel like shit. These fucking tampons won’t give me anything to eat.” She shoves at Needy’s shoulder and Needy scoots down so Jennifer can lay her head in the curve of her shoulder and neck. “Did you bring me anything good?”

Needy doesn’t bother to shake her head in case she dislodges Jennifer’s head. “Nope. They’ve still got you in containment and I haven’t really been hitting the cafeteria a lot.” It comes out sounding slightly more apologetic than she means it to, but that’s okay.

“Well, what good are you for then?” Jennifer’s tone is snotty but she stays put, a heavy warm weight stretched out against Needy’s side. Somehow, despite everything, Jennifer smells like herself, a mix of fruity body spray and musk. Needy hadn’t admitted to herself until quite that moment that she’d been half-afraid that Jennifer would smell like disease and dry skin, like a hospital always does. But even with the cracked lips and chipped nails, Jennifer still smells like herself. It’s how Needy knows everything’s going to be okay now.

“I’m glad you’re better,” she whispers, responding to everything she can hear under Jennifer’s tone. Jennifer pushes closer into her space, an arm pulling her in so Jennifer can hunker down.

“You smell good,” Jennifer breathes. Her lips are pressed against the edge of Needy’s throat, and Needy can feel her taking in long deep breaths.

She closes her eyes and holds in the strange shudder that the feeling causes. “Thanks.”

Jennifer’s head tilts, and Needy can’t help the way the feel of Jennifer’s lips dragging across her throat raises goosebumps all over.

“Were you worried about me?” Needy can feel a light tickling sensation, almost as though Jennifer licked her and she swallows hard. It feels like something’s happening here between the two of them, something different.

“Yeah,” she whispers, careful not to jar Jennifer when she says it.

The room’s so damn large and empty, and Needy can’t stop thinking about the two of them being in full view of anyone who might walk in. Jennifer’s pressed close and her voice is so husky, and maybe she’d just licked Needy out here where anyone could see it. Could see them. Needy’s appalled at herself but the thought is super damn hot.

“Were you afraid?” Jennifer croons, and Needy nods, eyes squeezed shut. The remembered flavor of that fear is drifting through her now and it raises the hair on the back of her neck even while her nipples tighten. She rubs her thighs together once to feel the way her cunt is starting to slip and drag against itself, starting to get wet.

She jumps a little when Jennifer moves. There’s the open room, the way her nipples are probably pushing up against the thin cotton of her bra, the brush of Jennifer’s hair on her face. And then Jennifer presses her mouth against Needy’s neck. It’s all hot breath and maybe she can feel the edges of Jennifer’s teeth pressing against her skin like a weird sharp weight.

Her stomach has this weird feeling, like panic or like she’s really turned on, and Needy has no idea whether she wants to push into it or just pull away ‘cause this is all getting really weird and intense. But instead she’s just staying so very still. Maybe Jennifer can bite down and give her a bruise to wear everywhere. Maybe this is what happens now.

There’s the brief sensation of pressure with enough pain that Needy can feel her arms convulse, fists tightening so she’s creasing bunches of Jennifer’s hospital gown. She yelps, unable to hold it in, and Jennifer shoves away, turns over so abruptly that she nearly knocks Needy off the bed. By the time Needy’s caught her balance, Jennifer’s all the way on the other side of the bunk. Her back’s a rigid line and Needy knows that shape, knows that it means Jennifer’s angry even if she doesn’t know why.

Needy’s still off balance, panting. Her neck stings when she cups a hand around it and she hisses, oddly shocked by how the pain stabs itself through her skin before muting into an ache again.

She pokes Jennifer’s shoulder to get her attention. “Hey,” she tries, awkward now that they’re not on the verge of – whatever. “You okay?”

“Fuck off,” Jennifer says. “Your breath stinks like dick.”

Which. Fuck. Needy checks quickly, but she’s fine. Jennifer’s just being a scared jerk. “You know that’s not true.” She shakes Jennifer’s shoulder. “So we had a whole lez-be-on-it moment. It’s fine.” Then, uncomfortably, “you don’t need to be scared.”

Jennifer swings around, dark hair hitting Needy in the face. “ _You_ should be scared,” she hisses. For a second her eyes look like they’re a bit funny, not quite right. But then Needy blinks and they’re fine. It’s just Jennifer, looking pissed off and vindictive.

She watches Jennifer take a bunch of deep breaths, arms shaking with tiny trembles, mouth opening and closing like she’s on the verge of saying something.

She doesn’t even know what’s coming but her stomach’s flip-flopping so damn much.

But then Jennifer does that thing where she flops back down with her back to Needy. “Word to the wise, Needster, you gotta brush your teeth after every blow,” she snipes as she pulls her blanket up over her shoulders. It’s ridiculous how she’s trying to act like this is all Needy’s fault, like Needy can’t see how Jennifer’s fists are clenched on her shoulders, the skin around her nails going white with the pressure.

“ _I didn’t_!” She can hear how high her voice is, but Jennifer just says, “that’s what I said,” and Needy so doesn’t have the time for this. If Jennifer wants to be a bitch then fine. Whatever. If she’s not ready to admit shit then Needy can wait her out. It’s not like either of them are going anywhere. Not now at least.

She shrugs clumsily and climbs off the bed. “Yeah, okay so... I’m gonna go.” There’s a second where she thinks she can just leave it, but then that isn’t really fair either. She keeps her eyes facing the door, plays with a loose thread on the bottom of her t-shirt, unwinding it and balling it to hide the way her fingers shake. “It’s not such a big deal, you know,” she says, trying not to let the tremble in her throat make it out into her voice. “Everyone tries it at least once.”

Jennifer stays turned away. “Then fucking go take a dip in someone else’s twatlantic ocean,” she snaps, and Needy flushes, angry and oddly ashamed.

“Whatever.” She leaves before she says any of the million things crowding her throat that are bound to make everything worse.

* * *

 

By the time Needy calms down enough to go back, Jennifer’s pretending it never happened.

There’s a weird moment where Needy doesn’t know what to do. She’s wearing the bruise high on her throat, hidden under some careful makeup, but they both know it’s there. It isn’t even hidden particularly well and Jennifer’s never missed something like this before.

“If this is the best you can do, you should’ve just gone with a scarf, loser,” Jennifer tells her. “If you’re gonna whore it up around the base you really should learn the basics.”

Needy stares at her. “This is your fault,” she tries to say, and Jennifer laughs. “Are you playing the peer pressure card?” She shoves up onto her elbows. “Are you fucking kidding me with this?”

Needy swallows down the bile in the back of her throat. “No, I’m not.” Jennifer’s being a dick but Needy’s too off balance with this thing to call her on it. Eventually she just says, “whatever, this isn’t worth my time,” and leaves, because it’s the only way she can think to respond.

She doesn’t go back that week.

* * *

  
“You can’t be mad at me,” she imagines Jennifer saying, “I nearly died. What sort of dick holds that against their best friend?”

“I’m sorry.” She thinks about choking the words out. She thinks about letting Jennifer look triumphant like always, like every time they fight. Like every time Needy’s backed down.

“Come here, baby, let’s kiss and make up,” Jennifer would say after that, and Needy leaves her eyes closed and plays the fantasy out as she slides her hand into her panties.

* * *

  
The night they release Jennifer from the ward, Needy rockets awake, covered in a cold sweat and shaking from a dream where Jennifer had kept going instead of pulling away. But it hadn’t been that sort of sex dream; it had been terrifying.

Needy covers her face because the dream was so real. She’s seen Jennifer’s tits before so she knows the dream got them right, except that after Jennifer pulled off her top and kissed her way down Needy’s throat, she shoved her fingers into Needy, worked two fingers around her clit even as she bit down, hard, pushing her teeth into Needy’s flesh until the blood sprayed out and Needy screamed, coming, bleeding wet.

Needy’s awake now but there’s still the phantom feeling of a scream stuck in her throat. She’s dripping into her panties and they’re slick and growing cooler now around her throbbing clit, which is so fucking messed up. The dream was sick. Wrong. Needy doesn’t want to think about it except she can’t stop.

She brings a finger up to poke again against the bruise but it’s faded now, faded into the lightest ache, and Needy pushes down hard so the pain flares out again, hoping that the bruise will stay longer even as she’s shaking from the idea of Jennifer seeing it there still.

“God,” Needy whispers, trembling. She finally fumbles a hand down under the sheets and into her panties, gets her fingers on the hood of her clit so she can get this done. Her other hand’s still pressed against the bruise, pressing down so the ache keeps renewing itself. She digs her nails in, tries to pretend they’re teeth, pushes ‘til it hurts.

“God,” she whispers again ‘cause it’s not enough. She drags her hand away from the bruise and teases her nipple, quick before she gets her hand down to shove two fingers in herself, working her clit rougher than she usually does it. She aches all along the surface of her neck, like a sharp dart through the skin. Her eyes keep scanning the room, still stuck in that weird adrenaline jump, hypersensitive to every sound, even the shushing noises of her sheet and the squelches between her fingers. The orgasm shudders through her, an almost painful spasm that moves through her thighs and into her cunt.

It’s probably just a delayed reaction, she assures herself, wiping her fingers off onto her shirt. She’s still sticky wet between her thighs but that sense of anticipatory fear is gone now, exchanging places with a sleepy lethargy.

Even the thought of Jennifer biting down and drawing blood, hurting her, seems - well, not okay ‘cause that’s not okay. But it makes sense. They’ve all had the training and practically every ranger has nightmares. If they’ve drifted for long enough, some of them have the nightmares in concert. The scientists say their brains have grown so used to dealing with horror as a team that they need the other through it, reach out through preset neural pathways developed in the drift. So even if she and Jennifer haven’t been drifting for long enough for this to be a thing like the rangers talk about sometimes, the dreams where you fail, where the kaiju comes in too fast to stop, it’s normal. For all the good that does her.

Sleep doesn’t come easy, but it does come eventually.

* * *

  
When they eventually locate the body near the outer borders of the compound, it’s all over the base about how his chest was ripped open with entrails missing. Each retelling somehow gets worse as the story makes the rounds: the way the white of his lab coat was smeared brown-black, the fact that the heat didn’t help preserve the scene because the body was covered with flies and larval casings for maggots. They say he’s been dead for four days; approximately the time he went missing.

When Needy tries to think back to that night to see if she can remember him at all, she remembers the dream where Jennifer took her top off and Needy screamed herself awake, before she shakes it off. The dream seems weirder when you think about the fact that this guy was dying while she was getting herself off, being ripped open just after Needy dreamed of Jennifer taking her apart, but she can’t really do shit about that now. Everyone has weird sex dreams and Needy’s probably not the first person to rub themselves off thinking of Jennifer doing weird kinky shit to them. It’s true but it still feels gross and wrong.

But aside from weird kinky sex dreams and guilt, that day brings a bunch of changes. There’s outcry for tightened security and the base locks down, forcing everyone to constantly report in every couple of hours and attend dinner for roll calls. Everyone’s on edge with the idea that something or someone did this, that there could be something that’s just as animalistic as a kaiju that’s wandering the base with them.

There’s a lot of fear for the next couple of days.

Needy does what she always does, keeps her head down and sticks close to Jennifer. It would really suck to spend all this time training to fight alien monsters only to end up killed by something closer to home.

Eventually though, a kaiju attack off the coast of Tokyo, far closer to the mainland than they’d prefer to fight these things, means that all the excess security gets shunted into the pile of stuff everyone’s going to have to deal with later, post-mission.

Afterwards the Marshal comes by the gym to inform them all that he simply doesn’t have the resources to redeploy to security right now, tells them to use the buddy system and then heads off to do whatever Marshals do.

Needy scowls at his back but Jennifer doesn’t seem to give a shit about the murder. “We’re already living the buddy system, Tweedle Dum,” she snipes, and shoves Needy towards the mats. “Besides, I can kick the ass of anything coming at us right now.”

Which, credit where credit is due, is pretty true. Jennifer’s completely back to normal, for given values of teenage girl normal anyway. She’s kicking ass and taking names, and it’s maybe Needy’s tiny crush but it seems like Jennifer’s hair’s glossier than Needy’s ever seen it, and her skin’s practically glowing.

She’s a hundred times more aggressive when she fights, and Jennifer is hardcore blowing her way through the basic recuperative training the doctors insisted on. Needy stays by her side and struggles to keep up; a slower, more defensive counterpart to Jennifer’s bigger, flashier moves. It’s ridiculous ‘cause it’s not like Needy was the one hurt but she’s still moving slower than Jennifer, ever so slightly out of sync.

“You’re a fucking buzzkill,” Jennifer tells her, more than once after she’s thumped Needy down hard on the mat.

“Yeah, well, better than being roadkill,” Needy shoots back as she rolls upright, and Jennifer gives her the finger but she’s distracted already, straightening up after their set and scanning the room to check out the cadet situation.

“If you’re done being boring as fuck, how about we play a game. How about,” she draws the words out, “you help me pick tonight’s lucky wiener.” She runs a finger across her lips, cocks her hips so that the jumpsuit stretches in a way that calls attention to her flat belly, her small waist, makes sure every eye in the place is watching her.

Needy huffs out a breath, startled. She hadn’t really thought about Jennifer dating, fucking, whatever, someone else and it’s not a surprise really except that it sort of is. “Shyeah. And why would I do that?” She keeps going with her cool-down stretches, keeps her eyes on her knees.

That Jennifer’s going to sleep with some rando cadet isn’t a surprise, but that she’s asking Needy to pick one out kind of is. Besides the whole kissing necks thing, there’s the fact that they don’t usually pull crap like this with each other. ‘Cause here’s the thing: Jennifer and Needy are a done deal as a ranger pair, but Jennifer’s always been greedy when it comes to attention. If it isn’t a flashier, more dangerous style then it’s fucking her away across the compound, cadets and rangers alike, so long as they’re up to her standard. So that’s not the unusual part. The unusual part’s the fact that suddenly Jennifer’s trying to get her involved by asking her to make choices that Needy wouldn’t normally be involved in at all. Like she’s rubbing Needy’s face in it.

“Do this with me,” Jennifer says, circling around behind her so that when Needy comes out of her stretch, upright, she’s right behind her. “Come on.” Her breath stirs the curly hair near Needy’s ear and Needy can feel the way Jennifer’s pressed close against her, her breasts plastered against Needy’s back. “Come on. Help me out here.” She gets a hand steady on Needy’s waist while splaying her fingers so her thumb sits just under the heavy edge of Needy’s breasts. “I know you want to. Don’t you want me to make good decisions? This way it’s like you get to choose what goes in me.”

“Hell, no.” And it’s fucked up, it is, but Needy can feel the way she’s growing flushed. Her skin feels tight and sensitive, more conscious than ever of Jennifer’s hand close to her nipple, the way everyone is watching them like they know exactly what’s about to happen. “This is so weird,” she feels she needs to say, though now that she’s thinking about it there’s something cool about the idea of Needy choosing the cock that Jennifer hops around on. Like she’s involved, or something. Like it matters.

Jennifer laughs. “Whatever, Saint Needy. Pick someone good, someone,” and here Jennifer shudders against her back, her hands clenching tight on Needy’s sides, making Needy’s own head tip back, yearning, “big.” Jennifer’s voice is heavy, like she’s already wet just thinking about it.

“Slut,” Needy whispers, soft, almost like she’s begging. There’s a part of her that remembers the two of them pressed up against each other on the narrow ward bed, the feel of Jennifer’s lips tracing across her neck.

“Bitch,” Jennifer teases, her hands going even tighter for a second before she lets go altogether.

Needy punishes her by pointing at the weediest looking cadet. “Him.”

Jennifer shoves roughly at her shoulder. “Fuck you, that guy probably couldn’t find his dick with both hands and a map.” Jennifer’s voice goes hard. “Pick someone, Needy. Either you pick someone, or otherwise I pick someone for you.”

Jennifer puts a finger to her lips and looks around as though she’s contemplating it, sizing up dicks for Needy to take on, and Needy hesitates, imagines going back to her bunk with someone Jennifer picked out – big, brash, like her, holding her down and fucking her open – but _can’t_ bring herself to say _okay, do it_ because that’s just not what regular girls do. It’s not what Needy does when she sort of only wants Jennifer to push her down right now.

So instead she buckles, points out one of the newer cadets, broad shouldered and with hair cut close to his scalp. “Him. Doesn’t seem like he has crabs yet or whatever.”

“Better,” Jennifer croons, ignoring that last part, and Needy flushes again under the faint praise. “Stay up for me. I’ll come by and tell you all about it.”

* * *

 

Jennifer may have asked her to wait up but Needy’s so damn tired from being thrown around the gym that she pretty much passes out ten minutes after she gets back to her room. She manages to stay awake long enough to switch clothes and brush her teeth, but then she’s crawling her way under her sheets, already checking out and feeling sleep pull her eyelids down, heavy.

The nightmare creeps up on her. It’s not scary at first; it’s so familiar that it can’t be. It’s the feeling of being in a drift, like it’s their bond – hers and Jennifer’s – like being present but outside of everything.

The whole thing is happening in the compound by the old fence, and Needy knows this place. She knows it because this is the place Jennifer calls Paradise Point. _‘Cause with me all the boys are in fucking paradise, Needy, duh._

It’s not a surprise to see Jennifer there. Somehow it just made sense. Though she’s walking weird, slightly hunched like something’s off about her centre of gravity. Her arms are out to balance her, bracketing a guy against the wall, the fingers loosely curled into claws against the concrete. Even from this distance, Needy knows those nails are painted bright red.

The guy is pulling his jacket off, his mouth moving though no sound makes it through to where Needy’s watching. Jennifer turns to stare at her and Needy flinches because Jennifer doesn’t look right. There’s something weird and malformed about her jaw, the way it juts forward as if her teeth are too wide to fit the hinge, the skin pulled tight.

The guy keeps talking and stripping and Needy finds a scream bubbling out of her, torn out of her because something’s wrong here even if she doesn’t know what it is yet. She’s so loud and Jennifer’s smiling, delighted, revealing teeth large and sharp, making her familiar face unfamiliar, and Needy wants out. She wants out of this drift-dream now but she can’t seem to figure out how to leave.

There’s a wet sound like meat tearing, and when Needy looks the guy’s half ripped open, eyes staring sightlessly straight at her, his mouth in a shocked O. Across the muddy expanse of field, the medical intern is arranged upright so he can watch, his insides cored out and flecked white with pupae.

Everything in her is fighting desperately to get away from those sightless gazes, and it’s finally enough to wake her up, legs jerking as she pushes herself upright. Her ears are ringing with the silence of the room after the constant sound of her own screams in the drift.

It’s just reaction. A messed up reaction. She drops her head into the curl of her knees, tries not to shake as she remembers the way Jennifer’s hair had looked shiny clean and her mouth had been pucker up pink, but the blood had covered it all after a while as her claws and teeth ripped into that guy.

A hand falls down her back, and she startles and flails, terror making a needlepoint of her skin before the familiar scent of fruity spray and musk hits her.

“Couldn’t stay up, huh? I wear you out?” Jennifer’s voice sounds pleased, eager, and Needy can’t stop thinking how stupid it is that she’s the one that’s probably more fucked up by Jennifer’s shit than Jennifer is. Of the two of them she’s the only one that seems to be trapped in dreams where things are going wrong and someone dies. It’s so textbook.

There’s a second when she looks up where her eyes expect Jennifer to be covered in blood like the dream hallucination thing, but Jennifer just looks like she always does. Gorgeous, her wet hair beginning to dry into its usual glossy shine.

“Fuck,” she chokes out. “Fuck.”

Jennifer flops onto the bed, shoving Needy’s legs out of the way. “Mmm,” she murmurs, “exactly.” She shoves Needy down into the bed and flops down next to her, stretches in a way that shoves her chest forward and sighs like she’s just gotten the best fuck in town.

There’s a pause where they both breathe, Needy coming down off the terror of the dream and Jennifer sounding distinctly post-coital.

And it’s not like Needy doesn’t think about staying quiet or not ruining the mood, she does, but the dream is still in the room with her. “You ever think about what would’ve happened if shit went wrong that night?” She keeps her eyes on the twin rounds of her knees under the sheets, picks at fluff on its surface.

“What night?”

“Don’t pretend, Jennifer. What fucking night do you think? What if something had really gone wrong, what if you’d –?” She can’t bring herself to finish the thought.

Jennifer tosses her hair back and eyes her. “Seriously, Lesniki? You don’t think what happened that night already constitutes wrong?”

Needy shrugs. “I’m just saying, it’s like you’re here and you’re fine and you’re out fucking people, but you’re not talking about stuff.”

“God, you’re such a fucking whiner.” Jennifer turns over and flops back onto the bed, trying to get more comfortable. “I did the stupid eval, I got cleared, I’m _fine_. You’re the only one making such a fuss out of it.”

Her tone is a clear signal that she wants the topic dropped but actually, now that they’ve got it out there, Needy doesn’t want to drop it. “No. No, you owe me this,” she grits out, tears already gathering in her eyes and making her voice waver. “You went into a room and you hooked yourself up to a kaiju and you did it all without even thinking of me or what would happen if you died. You didn’t _think_ , Jennifer!”

She’s been hoping for a reaction, for Jennifer to explain herself or say something or even just indicate that she’s not fine, but she really isn’t prepared for when Jennifer erupts, shoves her way away from Needy and to the edge of the bed. “ _I_ didn’t think? I didn’t _think_? You’ve got some fucking nerve putting this shit on me. You really think it was my idea to get in a room with a kaiju and stick wires into my brain? You think I thought it would be fun, to trip along that way? Are you seriously that stupid?!” The last words are in a screech and she has to swallow twice before she can even continue, voice shaking and low. “I was “asked” to volunteer. And I was given the “choice” to be a hero.” She looks up and Needy feels pinned by the look in her eyes, the frustrated rage. “So Saint Needy, the perfect fucking soldier, you wanna tell me what you’d do if the Marshal came to you and told you that you needed to be a hero?”

And Needy’s up and in her face almost before she can think, reacting without processing. “ _I’d say no._ ” Needy can’t stop screaming, can’t stop crying. “ _I’d say I need to tell my partner. I’d say it was stupid._ ”

“ _You don’t get it_!”

The room’s silent. Jennifer’s shaking, breath whistling heavily through her nose, and Needy’s gasping in quick breaths between her sobs, trying to make sense of it all.

Jennifer rolls off the bed and heads to the door. “I’m out.”

“Jennifer.” She pauses and Needy searches for the right thing to say. “You don’t need to be a hero.”

Jennifer’s mouth twists. “You’re so blind you won’t even admit it to yourself. No one has a choice, Needy. Not even you.”

She slams the door behind her and Needy finally unfreezes long enough to shout, “ _stop using lines from shitty movies_ ,” before she falls back into her bed, shoves her face into a pillow and screams.

* * *

 

There’s a whole week of frosty silence between them before they click back into sync. Needy doesn’t bring the topic up again and Jennifer pretends that everything’s okay, and they go back to being besties because there’s really nothing they can do about it all right now.

By the time the doctor finally clears the two of them for the drift again it’s been four weeks of “training” where the two of them try to work their shit out by beating the crap out of each other, followed by Jennifer occasionally wandering off to fuck some random, and then coming into Needy’s room after, licking her lips and talking about ‘tasty treats’ like some sort of 80s porn star.

“You really need to cool it with the attitude,” she tells Jennifer, “you’re starting to sound like a skank.”

“I can’t help that sex makes me hungry.” She checks herself out in the mirror, raising her arms above her head and stretching, sucking in her stomach. “Damn, I’m a hot ass.”

Needy just rolls her eyes and shoves Jennifer out of the way so she can tie her hair back. She’s gathering up her hair for a ponytail when Jennifer slaps her hands away, takes over and starts to braid it like always.

Needy watches them in the reflection, the quiet focus on Jennifer’s face as she drags the last bits in and ties it off, pulls the braid around Needy’s shoulder to hang over her boobs. Jennifer pulls strands back over Needy’s ears and leans close so she’s pressed up against her back as she eyes them critically. “Not bad.”

Needy smiles at her, meeting Jennifer’s eyes in the mirror. Stuff’s been strange ever since the whole hospital thing and the maybe kiss but this is safe. Familiar. When stuff is like this between the two of them then everything that happened with the kaiju seems like a dream; it’s easier for Needy to stop thinking about the Marshal playing Jennifer like a fiddle. The possibility of it being deliberate because she’s almost always with Jennifer and there’s no way she’d have gone along with it. The fact that there isn’t a person on base who doesn’t know how fucking thirsty Jennifer is for recognition and they used that. Needy’s been so damn conflicted these last weeks because she is a good soldier, she does follow the rules, but not like that. Not with those results. The thoughts keep sneaking in though, especially at moments like these that remind her of what she could’ve lost if Jennifer hadn’t survived.

She thinks about it while they walk down to the hangar, and she’s still thinking about it when they climb into their armour and wait for the technicians to count down to the drift. Her muscles are locked into position and she has to fight not to look around the room or think about the fact that there are people in this room with her that knew about what they were asking Jennifer to do and went ahead and did it anyway. That they thought Jennifer was expendable enough to not even have a doctor or a crash cart on site. The whole thing’s roiling in her stomach like bile and acid, getting stronger every time.

“We’re gonna rock this bitch,” Jennifer calls out, laughing, and Needy doesn’t know how she can even bear to be in the same room with these people. Jennifer turns her head to grin at her and Needy has to smile back because fuck them all anyway, she’s here. Jennifer didn’t die. And they’re going to kick some ass.

When the drift initiates, it’s just the two of them in each other’s space. There’s the usual rush of memories, a stomach clenching moment when Needy tastes blood in her mouth and thinks she sees Jennifer collapsed, the dark reaching out towards the two of them, before they’re there, in the jaeger, ready to fight.

It’s weird though because even though it’s just the two of them, it’s different. It feels... off. Like something isn’t quite gelling right. It’s something about the way Jennifer is in the drift with her, something weird about how she looks like herself, she’s still got her hair pulled back and her lips glossed baby pink, but her mouth looks like all her teeth are bigger than they are, the way her nails looks sharper. There’s something mean in the contours of her face and in the way she’s holding herself that wasn’t ever there before, and Needy has to wonder if this is what they did to Jennifer.

They fight through the simulation and Jennifer’s better, faster, stronger, and Needy can’t help but think that there’s something wrong about all of this. Something about that mouth and those hands, and the way her narrowed eyes look mean, something almost reptilian. She’s fighting on autopilot but Jennifer’s blowing the shit out of the simulations, ripping them apart faster and faster, and something about this is terrifying and thrilling, like being at the top of a rollercoaster and knowing what’s about to happen.

“Shit,” the technician says when he comes over after they de-initialise. “That’s nearly a 120% increase in score over your last tests.”

Needy’s still trying to catch her breath, arms aching from trying to keep up but Jennifer’s barely even broken a sweat.

“Yeah?” Jennifer murmurs, leaning into his space. He looks shell-shocked in the way that most guys are when Jennifer looks at them. Needy fights the urge to tell him that gaping like that just makes him look like a moron.

“So we did pretty great then, huh?” Jennifer says and the guy eats up the attention, goes into an awkward ramble about the statistics of their last couple of simulations. Jennifer meets her gaze long enough to roll her eyes at Needy.

Needy needs to get out of there though because whatever the fuck just happened in that drift wasn’t normal. “Can you help me out of this harness already?” she snaps, and feels a sort of vicious satisfaction when the guy jumps and hurries over to her. Jennifer frowns, put out, and Needy feels even better about it.

She heads out and goes directly into the cool down room next door, starts to rub down her muscles and stretch out the kinks that come from being in the suit for prolonged periods of time. Even without the weight of the jaeger to struggle against, the simulations test her boundaries, and Needy has to work not to cramp up after a session like that one.

“That was great, wasn’t it?” Jennifer’s voice is husky with satisfaction when she joins Needy on the mats, starts her own cool down routine. “Blowing shit up always gives me such a wettie.”

It startles Needy into a laugh. “Gross.” Jennifer’s not wrong though, there’s a spark twitching under Needy’s skin right now, even if she’d never admit to it.

Jennifer raises an eyebrow at her. “Come on, you’re telling me that didn’t turn you on? Didn’t get you to make the lady pee in your panties?” She sticks her tongue out and wiggles it obscenely in Needy’s direction.

“You’re disgusting,” Needy says, and shoves at her until the two of them are mock wrestling on the mats.

“Yeah, baby. Hold me down,” Jennifer calls out playfully. “You’re so fucking butch, Lesniki.” Her cheeks are flushed and there’re small sparkles of sweat at her temples. Needy has to maybe judge herself a little for that but in Jennifer’s case it’s actually fucking true. Her sweat is more sparkly than regular sweat, or at least it seems that way.

“Hey,” she says, as she laughs and pins Jennifer down. “Hey. You’re awesome.”

Something in her smile must set Jennifer off or something because she stops playfully struggling and pushes away. “I’ve got a date with Nerd-o The Great in there,” she tells Needy, adjusting her top and keeping her face turned away.

“That guy?” Needy doesn’t understand. “Jennifer, that guy’s barely up to my standards, let alone yours.”

Jennifer just shrugs. “It’s all Make A Wish these days. Gotta give back to the universe in exchange and all that.”

Needy’s still boggling at that when Jennifer leaves, blowing a kiss over her shoulder.

* * *

 

It’s been weeks since Needy’s bothered to wait up for Jennifer. She knows that Jennifer will come to her after she’s done with whoever she’s hooking up with, will climb into her bed and tell her every dirty detail. And Needy will listen and try not to picture it or want it, or pretend that it’s Jennifer and her. And when Jennifer leaves Needy will tease her slit and pinch her nipples, squirm against her sheets and get herself off thinking about Jennifer’s face and her hands and the way her voice sounds in the dark when it’s whispering between the two of them.

So she gets ready for bed and climbs in, gets settled and warm. Finds herself the edge of sleep already, the most glancing awareness of the room fading around her. Except there’s a weird sound. A sort of desperate scrabbling at her door and what sounds like Jennifer calling her name, hoarse and desperate. It’s hazy enough to feel like a dream and somewhere inside herself she braces for another night of nightmares, except there’s a thumping against her door that’s close enough to make her rocket upright, heart startling under her breast.

She’s out of bed like a shot, listening, and when she hears her name again she pulls the door open to find Jennifer there, crouched over, arms clasped like she's holding her insides in.

There’s a hazy second where Needy wonders if this is another flashback, another nightmare coming true, except that when she lets out the shocked sound that builds in her throat, Jennifer raises her head. And then Needy can see how her eyes are blown wide, all pupil, her mouth smeared blue and viscous with kaiju blood, red in patches where the blood looks more human.

Needy screams and backpedals before she even processes what's happening. She trips and falls back against the wall near the door and pain shoots through her side.

The pain means that this isn’t a dream at all.

She can’t breathe.

Jennifer follows her in. She’s still hunched over, but quick, so fast, so damn fast, and pushes Needy up against the wall. Her voice is a hoarse croak when she says, "let me, fuck, I need you" and bites down on Needy’s shoulder.

“ _Fuck_!” Needy screams because it hurts so goddamn much, the pain burning through her shoulder like she’s being ripped open. She arches, instinctively trying to pull away, but Jennifer pushes her down, holds her there as if it’s nothing and puts her hand over Needy’s mouth to muffle her screams.

Needy arches against the floor. The pain of the bite is starting to fade but the burning’s getting worse. Jennifer's getting kaiju blood and what might be someone else's blood on her, but no matter how much she struggles she can't get away.

She pushes away Jennifer’s hand long enough to whimper. “Stop,” she begs. Everything is happening too fast and Needy needs to stop. To wake up.

"We need this. _I_ needed this" Jennifer hisses as she pulls back from the bite. "We're gonna do this. You and me. We'll kill them all, human, kaiju, all. Those bastards won't push us. It'll be me," and she kisses Needy, mouth tasting like blood and burning on Needy’s tongue, "and you."

“What are you talking about?” Needy’s crying. Somewhere there’s a detached part of her that wonders what it means that she spends so much of her life crying because of Jennifer. “You’ve got blood on your mouth. There’s blood.” It’s all she can think about. Her breath hiccups out of her.

“I got really hungry,” Jennifer says, like that’s any sort of explanation. “I thought just the guy would be enough but he wasn’t.”

“What?” The room’s ceiling is spinning.

“We were in the labs anyway and the kaiju was right there.” Jennifer croons as she moves closer, crouches over Needy’s hips so her hair curtains down between their faces. “But it didn’t taste as good as I thought.” She flashes a sickly smile at Needy so she can see the smears of blue and red over Jennifer’s teeth and what looks like flecks of gristle.

She’s still trying to figure out what to say when Jennifer looks at her funny, says, “I think I’m gonna spew.” And then she leans to Needy’s side and throws up, the mix of chunks fountaining out of her.

The acidic smell of rotten eggs starts to fill the room, and Needy swallows back the urge to puke as well. Jennifer keeps throwing up, gasping and choking through it, and Needy scrambles out from under her and scuttles back towards the opposite wall.

“Sorry,” Jennifer says between heaves, bloodshot gaze meeting Needy’s, “I didn’t think nerd-o was this crap going down,” and turns away to throw up again.

Needy struggles with herself for a second before she crawls over, helps hold Jennifer’s head back and move her into the toilet so she can puke there instead.

“So,” she says later, after Jennifer’s finally done throwing up... her dinner. She leans back against the sink with her legs spread out before her. “You’re eating people.”

Jennifer raises her head blearily from the toilet seat. “Only when I get really hungry.” Her voice is petulant even as she struggles to open her eyes and focus.

“Right.” Because that makes sense. Except not. Jennifer keeps going though, “I’ve needed it ever since the whole kaiju thing.” She tries to keep her head upright but it just falls back to the seat with a thunk.

Needy doesn’t quite know what to do with this. It’s not like anyone else has ever drifted with a kaiju so maybe this is just what happens when that goes down. Maybe Jennifer brought something back with her, something that they can maybe work on so she stops eating people.

“I already tried,” Jennifer slurs, like she can hear what Needy’s thinking. “I ate all the usual shit and I even ate that shit raw.” She pauses, face contorted like she’s about to hurl again, before she relaxes. “It doesn’t work. I just get hungrier and hungrier. And then I get weaker.” She opens her eyes so Needy can see just how serious she is. “The last time I felt like I was dying.”

“It’s people.” Needy sits up and pulls her legs in, feet cold on the tiles. “You can’t just eat people.” She takes a deep breath and tries to think this through. “Maybe we can try again. Something else maybe? Or maybe we can get one of the scientists to check you out.”

Jennifer shakes her head and then immediately looks like she regrets it. “I’m never letting those fuckers near me again. I don’t want to. I _like_ being this way.” Her voice is a combination of proud and petulant. “I’m fucking faster and stronger like this. I’m better like this.” Her voice goes low. “You can bet no one’s ever going to be able to make me do anything I don’t want to ever again.” It’s almost a threat.

And Needy can’t really say anything to that. What do you say when your bosses turned your best friend into some sort of kaiju-cannibal hybrid? Nothing’s prepared her for this.

“I’ll fix this. Trust me. We won’t have to fight anymore,” she tells Jennifer, gaze carefully fixed on where her fingers are tracing the outline of the cartoon cats on her shorts. “Maybe you’ll get better if we’re not drifting.”

Jennifer just snorts.

Needy doesn’t say anything. She just settles so the part of her ass that was falling asleep is more comfortable and puts her hand on Jennifer’s, threads their fingers together and squeezes.

* * *

 

In the morning she goes to the Marshal.

“I don’t think Jennifer should be drifting,” she tells him, voice shaky with adrenaline and lack of sleep. Her eyes dart around his office, nervous.

“Okay.” He puts his papers down. “Make it quick, Lesnicki. I have to go deal with a situation.”

He looks at her carefully and Needy somehow knows that he isn’t missing her hastily combed hair or her creased clothes. He takes his glasses off during the appraisal, folds them and lets the silence draw out.

It makes Needy feel small and ridiculous, but she stands her ground because this matters. “She’s different since the drift with the kaiju. She’s –” She struggles to find a way to explain without giving away everything. “It’s hard to explain but she’s really messed up right now. That whole thing really did a number on her.”

The Marshal sighs. “I understand what you’re getting at here but I’m not sure you understand the place we’re at right now. We’re fighting a war and Ranger Check has some of the best scores we’ve ever seen. If you think I’m not going to make use of that, you’re sadly mistaken. ”

“But sir –” Needy cries out, and the Marshal waves her off.

“Understand this, Ranger. You’re not the one making decisions here, _I_ am. This is my base and you follow my orders until I retire or the kaiju kill us all. You understand? Ranger Check got that and maybe it’s time you get it too.” He looks down his nose at her. “There’s a bigger picture here and it doesn’t involve you personally. We need every available body, and right now there’s someone or something on the base cutting down the number of available bodies.” Needy swallows back the urge to scream at him, to mock him with the fact that his shit with Jennifer before is exactly why people are dying now. The only thing that stops her is that she knows exactly how that might play out.

Instead, she blurts out, “but you did this to her.” It’s a risk, calling him out, but Needy’s not afraid of taking a risk when it’s the right thing to do. Maybe it’ll get him to listen.

He sighs as if put upon. “I understand that you care about your partner,” and she grinds her teeth at his patronising tone. “And that you’re under a lot of pressure. But understand this,” his tone gets harder, “she’s been evaluated, she’s fit for duty, and she’s outperforming the other rangers. She’s not going anywhere.”

He puts his glasses back on and starts to read, and she gets that this is a dismissal but she just needs to try one more time. “You haven’t been in the drift with her. She’s different! We’re not – You know how most rangers can fight when they’re in the armour and be normal people outside of it?” She waits until he nods. “She’s _always_ in the suit. That’s what her mind is like now. She’s always like that.”

He doesn’t seem to get it though. Needy’s frustrated because she doesn’t know how else to explain it, and she can’t really explain it any clearer that when Rangers wear their suits for their assignments, their entire focus is on killing things. There isn’t anything else really in there. The Marshal just doesn’t get it. And Needy can’t tell him about the deaths or the kaiju Jennifer might’ve eaten because she's still Needy's best friend, her partner in the drift. She’s Needy’s other half. Except now Jennifer has something extra along with her. And not telling means that Needy's afraid she's going to get them all killed as Jennifer works her way around the base, or get them turned into something Needy doesn't want to be.

And scariest of all is the part of her that thinks that she almost hopes he doesn’t listen, that would be viciously satisfied at the idea of this asshole getting ripped apart for what he did that night.

He looks up and gives her one of those ‘oh, you’re still here’ looks, and Needy huffs out a frustrated breath before she leaves.

In her room, Jennifer’s painting her nails, hair damp from the shower and windows open to let the smell out. She’s wearing Needy’s underwear and t-shirt, and Needy doesn’t like to think about the section of herself that says, _fuck it, they all deserve it anyway_. Her legs are shaking.

Jennifer doesn’t look up. “They didn’t go for it, did they?”

“No.” She swallows and goes over to sit next to Jennifer.

Jennifer bumps their shoulders together. “They were never going to stop me.” She leans forward to blow on where her toes are painted a bright fuchsia.

Needy swallows and closes her eyes. “Yeah. I guess they weren’t.”

* * *

  
She doesn’t like to think about the fact that she hasn’t had a single dream about finding out early enough that she stops Jennifer from the kaiju-drift.

No, all of that happens during the day when she’s standing right next to Jennifer. Jennifer, who’s flirts with one of the mathematicians, the mechanics, the technicians, the Marshal, who walks like she’d love to see you try it, and _come on baby, don’t you want a try?_ It’s not that different at all, Needy thinks, except that it is.

And it doesn’t even matter that Needy's afraid because the Marshal was right about one thing - they're better, faster, meaner and they’re fucking near unstoppable. It doesn’t matter that she keeps trying to get him to listen because the Marshal thinks she's just scared of what's in the water rather than what's in the drift with her.

“Don’t fix your hopes on a lost cause,” Jennifer tells her. “You don’t have the right look for an emo bitch.”

Needy shoves her and Jennifer falls over, laughing.

It’s all so fucking familiar. Except that Jennifer’s eating people.

* * *

 

It’s dark when Needy wakes up to find Jennifer leaning over her bunk, clothes blood spattered. "Missed you," she whispers, and then kisses Needy so the phantom taste of blood in her mouth becomes real. Needy doesn’t like to think about it, the fact that she’s tasting someone else on Jennifer, that she’s licking them out of her mouth.

"What did you do?" Needy whispers as Jennifer pulls her shirt off and then yanks at Needy's until she raises her arms to let Jennifer pull her’s off too.

Jennifer moves in close, legs spread so she can hunch over Needy’s hips, chests pressed together. "Baby, I made all his dreams come true," Jennifer whispers, quietly smug.

“Jennifer,” she chokes out. “Fuck.” Somewhere deep inside Needy knows that she’s been kidding herself with the idea that maybe Jennifer was just having some sort of post-traumatic reaction to the kaiju. She knows most people don’t have the sort of PTSD that involves killing and eating people but she’d needed the lie.

Jennifer flops onto the bed, shoving Needy’s legs out of the way. “Relax, Mother Teresa. They’re just boys. I promise I was safe and everything. I even flossed twice to get any bone out of my teeth, see?” Needy flinches back at the bared teeth even though they look even and blunt. Normal. “I just needed a little snack before we hung out.”

It seems almost impossible to parse that. Needy tries though. “Cheesits are snacks, Jennifer. You _killed_ someone!” She fights the urge to shake Jennifer. That sort of thing’s never gone down well even before all the death and murder stuff.

Jennifer scoffs, shoving herself upright so she can stalk over on her knees to where Needy is curled up protectively against the headboard. “Those weenies were just meat.” Jennifer grabs Needy’s chin, gently angles it upwards so Needy can see her face. “But you and me? We’re different.”

Needy swallows, forcing the spit down over the awkward angle and tight throat. Jennifer all but glows; there’s something hypnotic about her like this. “We’re BFFs, right?” Needy asks, desperate for the confirmation of some ritual.

Jennifer brings her hands to either side of Needy’s face, holds her still so Jennifer can lean their foreheads together and croon, “Yeah. But we’re so much more than that. We’re going to literally be forever, Lesnicki. Let me show you.”

And then Jennifer kisses her.

Nothing but soft lips and tongue; exactly the way Needy always imagined Jennifer would kiss. Needy isn’t kissing back though. No, she’s waiting to see what’s going to happen, when the teeth are going to come out. Jennifer kissed those other guys too and then she’d eaten them. Needy doesn’t want to die like them, scared and confused. She’s rather die with Jennifer kissing her, tiny nips at Needy’s lower lip urging her to try this out, Jennifer’s nose tracing its way across her cheek each time she changes the angle of the kiss. Needy doesn’t want to die while Jennifer’s kissing her but she also doesn’t want to die without ever kissing her back.

So she does, opens her mouth and surges into Jennifer’s body, pushes so that they two of them are pressed together.

Jennifer pulls away and Needy has a hysterical moment where she thinks this is where Jennifer’s going to eat her, but instead Jennifer’s just angling her head to look down at their boobs pressed together. “Titty high-five,” Jennifer calls out, and Needy laughs into the kiss, almost hysterical with fear and relief.

Then they’re back to making out, Jennifer dropping back so Needy can climb over her. Her arms slowly go lax so she’s lowering herself over Jennifer, who shifts so her knee is slightly raised, pushing a thigh against Needy’s cunt.

“God, you’re such a drama queen,” Needy mutters into the kiss, and Jennifer smiles under her, looking smug, the flush under her skin spreading out from her cheeks to down over her chest. “We couldn’t do this _before_ you ate people?” Her voice comes out plaintive, almost like she’s pleading while complaining.

Jennifer nips her once on the chin. “I was hungry.” She shoves and moves so Needy’s the one under her now. “Would you rather I ate you?” She murmurs, stalking backwards down the bed as she drags the edge of a sharp red nail down Needy’s chest and belly down to hook in the waist of her sweatpants.

It’s getting really hard to breathe. It feels like she’s going to hyperventilate, short gasps pushing in and out of her, half fear, half lust. “Jennifer,” Needy says, tears dripping off her cheeks, because she can’t think of anything else to say.

Jennifer leans down to press a soft kiss to the skin of Needy’s belly, leaves her mouth there like a threat while she drags the sweatpants down and off Needy’s thighs, nails leaving pinkening furrows in the skin. Jennifer shoves them off the rest of the way, kicking at them until they fall off the bed, getting a hand up to graze the top of Needy’s underwear before slipping underneath and pushing into Needy with a wet sound.

It’s like the noise is punched out of Needy, high-pitched and thready, as she slumps back against the bed, going limp. Jennifer’s pushing two fingers into her, curling them while the ball of her thumb is pressing down against Needy’s pubic bone. Needy ruts against it, her eyes caught by Jennifer’s gloating smile. Her mouth’s fallen open at some point but Needy only figures that out when she needs to close it to swallow, the saliva so sensitive on her dry throat.

“Salty,” Jennifer says smugly as she pulls her fingers out. They glisten and Needy can feel the way the breeze is wafting against the wet cotton of her underwear before Jennifer grabs the sides and snaps them so fast that Needy only feels the pull a second before they’re broken.

“Jesus,” she pants, thighs trembling, and Jennifer ignores her to lean down and lick her open, long licks lapping up her slit before she circles Needy’s clit.

And Needy freezes, her stomach going rigid and tight because fuck, Jennifer’s teeth were so long in the drift, so fucking sharp and Jennifer could eat her whole this way. Just fucking climb inside her through her cunt, and lie down in the circle of Needy’s body if she wanted, and that’s terrifying even if her stupid ladyparts aren't willing to get the message.

It’s almost like Jennifer knows what Needy’s thinking because she looks up then, mouth and cheeks smeared and glistening as she stares at Needy, her face slowly growing tight with annoyance. Needy gasps when Jennifer pushes three fingers back into her, finger fucks her hard and fast, slamming them in and curling them so Needy’s thighs tremble when she pulls them in tight around Jennifer’s wrist, but she doesn’t look away from Jennifer’s eyes which are flickering between human and reptilian.

Jennifer licks angrily at her lips, spits, “you could use a douche,” vindictive, just before she bites down in Needy's inner thigh, hard, hard enough to bruise. Needy screams, because it hurts, because she’s afraid, her hips frantically working to shove Jennifer off her, and Jennifer holds her down and hisses, “satisfied?” like Needy’s the one that pushed her to do it.

And then Jennifer curls her fingers where Needy’s frantically working her hips and the feeling blows through her, blinds her as she comes, screaming. It almost hurts, her stomach going tight, thighs clenched and the bite throbs so the pain is pulsing through her with every wave.

She collapses, shaking, and Jennifer’s already laughing when she mocks, “now who’s the slut?” Her own hand is working under her clothes, and Needy watches her, exhausted, as she throws her head back and shudders her way through a small orgasm of her own before she flops down beside Needy in the bed.

Needy stays totally still, just staring up at the ceiling and breathing, focusing all her attention on counting the discoloured patches rather than the way Jennifer’s sprawled next to her. Small aftershocks are still tingling through her once in a while, and she wonders when this became her life.

“It smells like a fucking seafood salad in here,” Jennifer grumbles, and Needy snorts, then breaks into full blown laughter.

“You should know,” Needy laughs, “it’s probably all right under your nose.”

“Oh!” Jennifer playfully shoves her face into the material of Needy’s t-shirt and motorboats her, while Needy squeals and laughingly tries to push her off.

Jennifer sighs and flops back onto the bed, and Needy automatically holds her arms out so Jennifer can cuddle in close, the top of her head pressed against Needy’s cheek. She toys with the edges of Jennifer’s hair, smoothes the length of it against her shoulders and back, and tries to think about what all of this means. Heck, what any of it means. Jennifer eats people. Jennifer got her off. Jennifer might _like_ like her.

“This is all too much,” she says out loud.

“Ummn,” Jennifer offers, eyes already shut.

“What does this mean?” Nothing’s worked out quite the way it was supposed to. They’re nothing like Needy thought they’d be.

“You’re thinking too much,” Jennifer murmurs. “Just let it happen. It’s us.”


End file.
